flatvurm: (eyes)
It's funny...I don't have a userpic for weather stuff. I mean, I actually don't have userpics for a lot of things that are relevant to me now, and vice-versa. It just goes to show how different my life is nowadays, I guess. I missed journaling yesterday, but not for the usual reason. The day was actually on the busy side; I did chauffeuring and ran errands and did chores. Satisfying, as usual. And, also as usual, it highlighted just how much of my non-productive time I spend doing stuff online. I'm pretty sure this is my new "sitting on the couch watching TV all day," which means that it's something I should definitely not be doing. I mean, like...it's fine to do, but not in like an "all day, every day" way. Anyway...so, yeah. Busy Monday. I must have been done by quittin' time, but honestly I can't remember what I did with my evening. Must have been lost to the 'Net if I have nothing to show for it.

Today was out of the ordinary for several reasons. Firstly, yesterday they were predicting this overwhelming superblizzard for today, so basically we were battening down the hatches and stuff for that. Come day-of, it actually turned out not to be so bad, but still...the whole city had prepared for it, so everybody basically took a snow day regardless. I had already canceled therapy, so I had nothing to do in the morning. Then, they canceled the Misdirected Mark stream for tonight, so there went that plan. :) Though to replace it, they had a bit of a meetup in the Slackroom, so that was pretty fun. Found out Bob loves The Replacement Killers as much as I do, so that was nice. :) Anyway. Most of my day was actually spent on podcasts, which was novel and also felt weirdly productive. :) I have to find something more productive to do with my time. And I mean that in its most basic sense...like the opposite of consuming. I'll work on that. Anyway, yeah; not a lot to report! Even without the superblizzard, it was still nasty and wintry enough to make staying indoors the preferred option. Like sleet and crap like that. Like I need encouragement to stay indoors. :P But, still. Nice to have the excuse. ;)

Oh, and happy Pi Day! I super messed up, because I was in the perfect position to pick up some pie at the store yesterday, and it totally slipped my mind. Like ordinarily I wouldn't care; I could pick up pie if I wanted, but it's just that today happened to be snow day, so I wasn't leaving the house. ;) I did have pizza, though, so that totally counts. I think I did my part for the celebration. ;) I think that's it. Maybe some gaming forming this weekend with Stephan and Gareth and them? Still in the planning stages. S works hard to try and get a group together, but it is so hard to wrangle all these adults. Maybe new Traveller, though, so that might be neat. :) Also St. Patrick's Day on Friday, though I don't think that affects my world. Means Dad's birthday is soon, though.

So, yeah, guess that's it. Gonna wash some dishes and go to bed. My life is not that exciting these days. Which is fine with me, believe me. I feel like when I have a lot to say, it's mostly complaining or something. Eh...I guess that's not true. But still. I'm fine with things being slow right now. That's what breaks are for.
flatvurm: (cooking)
I did not end up napping today, which is probably for the best, to be quite honest. I did, however, get a lot of cooking done, which is good, since it means not ordering delivery crap quite so much. It also means I have a pile of dishes to do tonight, but them's the breaks. Between (and sometimes during) cooking adventures, I got a lot of online catchup done! Now if I can only keep daily pace with my infostream, hopefully I can keep current from now on?! If I can't...I mean...it probably means I should throttle down the ol' infostream a bit? It's difficult. :) Social media wasn't bad today, but it's always slower on the weekends, and moreso on Sundays, I think. Plus sooooo many of my people were either at Breakout or PAX East, so that eats up a lot of bandwidth and stuff, too.

Anyway. Not much to report, except that I felt quite productive today. Yay!
flatvurm: (fringehead bedhole)
I think I went to bed a little earlier than usual last night. "I think" because at some point I fell asleep listening to a podcast. :P But anyway...I found myself awake at some ungodly early hour this morning. And that's even after DST started, so it's an hour less than I think, even. :) Anyway...I couldn't get back to sleep, so I'm just kind of puttering around with my morning.

Anyway...I'm only posting to put the following on record: I am a terrible napper. Terrible! I'm so bad at it. I don't sleep for small periods of time. I sleep for, like, 4 hours. :) So I tend to avoid napping, because it's super unproductive for me. I "nap" for a really long time, and then I wake up all disoriented. :) Anyway, that's not what I wanted on record. What I wanted on record is that...if I feel like napping today, I'm gonna do it!

Gave it a shot

Thu, Mar. 9th, 2017 23:09
flatvurm: (work stack)
I like to think I was at least somewhat productive today. I finally did my taxes, so that's a big one knocked off the to-do list. I also figured out what I needed to do to roll my 401(k) over, so I filled out paperwork and junk for that, but that's going to take a little while to get all the way done. Oh, and I finally did laundry! Hooray. I feel pretty good that I got some stuff done. More to follow. I thought there was something else... Oh yeah, closed my HSA. Looking forward to that big, fat $6 check soon. :P

Supposed to snow tonight, which kinda blows my mind, but whatever.

Tomorrow...probably more of the same as today I guess? Except date night! Not sure if I've got anything cooking this weekend. I mean...probably not. I'm gonna have to face facts that if I want stuff to happen, I'll have to make it happen. ;) Plus I have like a thousand projects I'd like to work on, so...we'll see.

These posts are kinda going nowhere lately, huh? Guess that's what a daily recap gets ya when I don't really have much going on.


Day out

Wed, Mar. 8th, 2017 23:50
flatvurm: (ryker kid)
I actually did end up spending much of today with Tabitha when she was between appointments. It was a nice time. I feel like we got some real quality time together, and during the day, no less! The weather's been really nice lately, so we even went for a little stroll after lunch. It was just a nice, pleasant time together. I love her very much. That feels weird to say in public, and I don't know why. But there it is. I don't talk a lot about my relationships, I guess. It feels like a very private thing. And it is, I suppose. But it can't be news to anybody that I love her. My partner. I mean...it wouldn't be weird if I didn't, right? It's just...never been something I talk about, I guess. I doubt that will change much, honestly, but I've been kind of emotional and sentimental today, so...I'll take the step, I guess. I love my partner.

I guess I had some time in the morning and evening when I wasn't hanging out, but I don't think I got much done of note. Today was International Women's Day, so social media was hopping. There were a lot of shout-outs (in my circle, anyway) to women who design RPGs, and I had another, like, flash of sentimentality. I know so many cool people! It's pretty astounding, when I stopped to think about it for a second. I dunno. The world is so full of great people. It's a good thing to remember when I'm feeling instead like the world is full of malicious nincompoops. It's sort of an adaptation of something that comes up in therapy a lot. When I'm feeling good, my therapist recommends that I try to remember those times -- remember those feelings. The memories are supposed to come in handy when I'm depressed or anxious. It's good to remember that it won't always be like that, that one day I won't feel bad, and I'll feel good again. Same idea, I guess; there aren't only bad people; there are good people, too.

Anyway. So, yeah, not a lot to report as far as accomplishments. Again. Tomorrow I'm earmarking for chores, though, no question. I'm nearing critical levels of laundry need. ;) And the to-do list just keeps on growing, so I really gotta start knocking items off of that. :) Tomorrow will be a good day for that. I'll try and keep the social media under control. Until then.
flatvurm: (taenia)
My original plan was to do laundry today, but it rained, so I didn't. This is compelling stuff, everybody. So, yeah...therapy in the morning, Misdirected Mark livestream at night. I managed some podcast catchup during the rest of the time, but not a whole hell of a lot else. I should have been cooking! That would have been a good indoor thing to do. Ah, well. Social media black hole instead, I guess. Tb has off tomorrow, but she also has a bunch of shit she has to do, so I dunno if we'll get much QT together. Hopefully we can grab lunch or something.

Yeah...I think that's about it. Not an exciting day today by any stretch. But a short post is still a post. :)

Out and about

Mon, Mar. 6th, 2017 21:57
flatvurm: (d12)
Red letter day today! I actually left the house for an extended period. ;) Actually, not only that, but I actually left the Rock. Spent much of the day in the City today. First, I (finally!) went back to the office to drop off my computer and phone. Also I picked up what I like to think of as a "parting" gift (but really what was really a "happy five years" gift). So I think that ends my professional relationship with that place, though I'm sure I'll be heading back there socially at some point. Probably soon, since I didn't hang out much this time around, though I did get to do a bit of catching up, so that was good. Nice to see the old gang again. Or what's left of them, I guess. Lots of changes around there. Around here, too, I suppose. :)

The rest was basically just some tooling around, since I don't get out that much these days. I stopped by the Strat, more or less for old times' sake, but also because why wouldn't I just swing by a FLGS given the opportunity. I, of course, walked out of there with a couple new books because...well, because I'm me. Saw a copy of Part-Time Gods of Fate and just had to pick it up because Phil's and Chris' names are on the front (which makes me super happy) and because what was ever bad that came out of Third Eye. I also, on a whim, picked up the Kaiju Incorporated RPG, because I had gotten the card game along with the DFCO Kickstarter, so I thought that might be nice and fun. I don't habitually pick up Fate supplements, but I figured this was a good exception. Plus, PK did some development on it, so that's cool, too. :)

I was back late enough that I only had to kill like an hour or so until Tb got out of work, so I just hung out and then we got to commute back together, which was nice and sweet. :) So, I dunno...overall, pretty good day. Not feeling sick like I was last night, or at least I wasn't until I kinda settled in back home for the night. Maybe it's all this screen time that does it. ;) Or maybe one of the neighbors has a meth lab. Or maybe getting around and moving around helps me overall feel better. ;) But, yeah. Pretty good day. Looking for more like this.
flatvurm: (fringehead bedhole)
I've been doing something untoward to my sleep schedule, so I'm gonna try to get back on track in that department. Might be easier to do than I think, for reasons that will become clearer in a second. I felt on-and-off this weekend like I was getting sick. It's back on as I write this, so I'm thinking of hitting the sack pretty early tonight. I'm supposed to head into the City tomorrow anyway, so hopefully I'll both wake up early and wake up feeling better, so...we'll see how that goes.

This weekend was a'aight. Like I mentioned before, Gb's school play was this weekend, so date night went on the back burner this weekend. We did catch the play Saturday night, though, so that's kinda date night. :) They were putting on a production of Anything Goes, which I guess I'd never seen. :) I knew several of the songs, though, from other sources; I didn't even know they were part of the play. I even remember some of the sources. "You're the top...you're the Colosseum..." I remember Mel Tormé singing to Harry on Night Court. "I get no kick from champagne" clearly from Blazing Saddles. That "Friendship" song I know I've heard before, but I can't remember where. Maybe another song or two. Anyway, it was a good production. I enjoyed it, even if I was a little bit out of it from being under the weather. Their Reno was surprisingly strong! Not "surprisingly," I guess; they always put on a good show. Gb played Eli Whitney.

[pic of Gb]

Not a whole lot from today. We got some lunch and did some shopping. Normal weekend stuff. Family time. :) This was only mildly impacted by much of the major thoroughfare around here being blocked off for what we quickly surmised was a St. Patrick's Day parade. So early! The holiday's not for another two weeks. Whatever. In any case, speaking of shopping, I tried to pick up more vegetables in an effort to not eat quite so much crap. I gotta get back on that cooking train. Actually, I gotta get back on that doing anything train. Too much computer time. I'll see if I can keep that more under control this week.

Carmen's birthday is coming up this week. Next weekend she's looking to get people together for dim sum. Sounds pretty nice; we'll see if I can spring it. Dad should be in the area visiting around Easter. Speaking of family time.

Okay, both my brain and body are shutting down, so I'm gonna close this up, do another chore or two, and call it a night. Oh! Might be starting another Storium game soon. I posted on FB that the In Nomine setting had come to town, and it generated enough interest that I can probably just get a new game started right away. The medical drama one is stalled out still, so maybe I'll start up this new one and see if I can't kick the existing one into motion. Oh, and they're trying to get a somewhat recurring game put together...Stephan and Gareth and them. Mix of tabletop and online, I think they're shooting for? Maybe Traveller. We'll see; it's so fucking hard to get in contact with people and corral them and stuff. Curse of adulthood and whatnot.

I said I was going, right? Okay, I'm going. Until next time.
flatvurm: (taenia)
Kinda feeling like a broken record, but today's refrain will be pretty familiar: got some stuff done, but not as much as I wanted. (And, as an aside, I guess "broken record" is one of those metaphors that is outliving the technology it's based on, huh.) Anyway. I was at least semi-productive today by instituting a rule not to jack in until I'd accomplished a few things. That seemed to go well. I didn't hear back from the office today, but I'm still assuming that I'm heading in tomorrow. Date night has been disrupted this week because of a bunch of school play happenings, so another weirdly scheduled weekend. I think we'll be going away again in a couple weeks, though, so that will be nice.

I suppose at this point it's been about a month away from the old job. More or less. It's been nice, but it can't stay this way forever, I suppose. Should start thinking about what's next. But not quite yet. :)


Wed, Mar. 1st, 2017 22:19
flatvurm: (judge harry)
This is pretty much a non-post. Nothing of note today; I didn't even do any chauffeuring. ;) I pushed the City trip from tomorrow to Friday because I'm supposed to get a package tomorrow. I did some catchup and chores today, but not the stuff I should have been doing. Ah, well, there's always tomorrow. ;) (And if that's not the procrastinators' motto, then I don't even know.) I should set a rule about getting X amount of stuff done before I crack open social media. ;) Most of what I did today was RSS catchup, so at least I'm getting a handle on my infostream. Hopefully email tomorrow.

One noteworthy thing from today: Geek & Sundry did a live stream AP of one of Grant's games, The Witch is Dead. I mean holy SHIT. That's pretty big. :) Super proud of and happy for him. I also took joy in congratulating SASG for scooping G&S. ;)

Yeah, I dunno. Told you it was a non-post. :) I'm doing well; other people are doing well; I'm kind happy for us all. Hopefully the same tomorrow. Can't ask for much more!

Old and new

Wed, Mar. 1st, 2017 00:04
flatvurm: (widowmaker happy)
Typical Tuesday stuff: I went to therapy this morning, which was good. We ended up not talking about me so much as other people, but that's a thing that happens sometimes, and it's useful. We have good conversations. I caught the Misdirected Mark stream tonight, which was also good. Bob was out sick, but special guest Jim McClure was in the house, so (naturally) they went long, but it was an interesting conversation.

Semi-typical Tuesday stuff: I was on chauffeur duty again today because Gb had a dentist appointment this afternoon. He was supposed to have rehearsal afterward, too, but he ended up falling ill. He made it to the dentist, but not rehearsal. He's trying to get some sleep. Hope he feels better. Tb had a normal day, but since I had the car, I ran a few errands during the day. I actually spent quite a lot of today on the road. Wasn't bad. I like driving, and it gave me a chance to (a) get away from the computer for a while, and (b) listen to some podcasts.

Atypical Tuesday stuff: As I mentioned yesterday, Jim launched the Kickstarter for Satanic Panic today. The thing funded in 12 hours. 12 hours! That's outstanding. I'm really happy for the guy. That's not the best part, though. As I mentioned before, Jim was the guest on this week's MM podcast, so he was on tonight's live stream. The KS funded while he was live on the mics! We all hoped it would happen, and it did. Really funny. :)

I can't really point to anything that I got done today, but I felt pretty productive, which is just as good. ;) I guess it was mostly background, domestic stuff. No projects got advanced, but I got things done in some sense. It'll do. :) Like I keep saying, Tuesdays aren't really the days to make sense of things. I got a text from Amanda today checking to see if I was coming in sometime soon. I might need to do more driving tomorrow, so for now I'm planning on heading in on Thursday. She wants to grab lunch. What else... I joined a new FB group for "intersectional" gamers, so we'll see if that goes anywhere. Gb's play is this weekend. Yeah, I dunno. Normal stuff. Life continues.

My plan right now for tomorrow is a social media break and concentration on knocking some things off the to-do list. We'll see if I remember that plan in the morning. ;) For now, good night, world.
flatvurm: (imposter)
Man, I gotta get back on a schedule or something; I shouldn't be up this late, I feel like.

Did some online catchup today, but I could have done more, I think. I think what happened was that I went into this morning with at least half a plan that I cooked up last night, about the stuff I was going to work on and get done and whatever, but I basically abandoned that plan, like, first thing, so the whole day was thrown off. I am super bad at recovering from disrupted plans. ;) Anyway, though...yeah, online catchup...don't really think there was much more. Jim McClure is getting ready to launch his Satanic Panic Kickstarter tomorrow; I did a little editorial pass tonight to help out. Pretty exciting! Super premise for a game; I think a lot of people are going to find it really fun. I hope it's a great success; Jim works hard at this stuff.

Ooh, and speaking of Kickstarters, I got my hardcopy of The Veil in the mail today. Man, but that book is gorgeous. It makes me realize that in my mind I kind of think of two main different kinds of cyberpunk. One, the grittier one, is what I think of when I read The Sprawl. I think that idea is rooted in like 80s and 90s cyberpunk. More rock 'n roll than techno, if that makes sense. It's that "back alley" feel. Underground tech. Dirty cyberwear. Smartguns, but not laser guns. Tech still had mechanisms, you know? Jacking in meant plugging a cord into something. A real street vs. corporate aesthetic, ya know? Johnny Mnemonic. The other kind is a more modern aesthetic; everything's kind of oval and sleek. Tech is seamless. Transhumanism. Holographic displays and gestural UIs. Soft lines. I dunno...Ex Machina, maybe. Anyway, that's more what I think of when I think of The Veil. Haven't read through it yet, though, so we'll see.

Anyway. I'm chauffeuring tomorrow. Plus therapy. So that probably means a lot of chores, too. Which means not a lot of time online. Which is fine. I could use the break. Gotta remember to check in for Jim's KS, though!

Oh! Didn't make it into the City today to return work stuff. Next opportunity is probably Wednesday; I won't have the time tomorrow. So...yeah. We'll see if that shakes out, too. :)
flatvurm: (d12)
Pretty unproductive again today. I didn't feel that bad about it since it's still the weekend. ;) Actually, I had blocked off today to watch the One Shot stream of Dungeon Dome. Not ordinarily the kind of thing I set aside time for, but I've got room to experiment these days, so that's what I'm doing. That shit was loooooong. Really fun, though. And almost certainly not the kind of thing I'd set aside time to watch after-the-fact, like when it goes up on YouTube or whatever. I'm still trying to face the possibility of watching those APs of The Sprawl that are coming out of Roll20. Been doing a bit more like this lately, I guess. The other day, on a whim, I sat in on a solo stream of All My Fantasy Children when it was just Jeff without Aaron. Wasn't planned; I just happened to be around when the tweet went out. That was also pretty fun. There's definitely a joy in being around for the live stuff. Not sure it's the kind of thing I can make time for when I have real responsibilities again.

Speaking of which. Was thinking of going into the office tomorrow to return my stuff. I may or may not, though; Tb has off for a doctor's appointment, so maybe I can hang out with her, instead. She may also have stuff to do, though, and I wouldn't want to get in the way. We'll see how things shake out. In any case, Tuesday I'm definitely on chauffeur duty, so that might be a good day for chores. Plus there's therapy. And, of course, the MMP stream at night. :) After that, though, I think I'm clear this week.

I got to thinking today how there's always all this stuff I have on the back burner, all this stuff that I always say to myself, "When I have time, I'm totally gonna sit down and take care of that." I halfway keep track of some of it. Regardless, that seems like that would be a good place to start, doesn't it? To try and get actual things done? What's funny, is...today what really jumped to mind is that I'm an entire game behind on the Zelda franchise. ;) I watched some promo material for Breath of the Wild, and it reminded me that I've never played Skyward Sword! Certainly I have time for it now. Might be something to look into. As the days go by, I feel like more and more what I need to do in order to get anything done is go on a restricted social media diet. That stuff is killer. You never run out of Internet, man.

Anyway. Pretty good day, all told. Could have moved around more, for sure.


Thu, Feb. 23rd, 2017 23:35
flatvurm: (fringehead bedhole)
Still zero today. I think it's con crud, but I also think it's mild. Whether it is or isn't, though, it would behoove me to start getting my shit together soon. There's plenty to be done. Tb is giving a lot of thought to Dark Side of the Con, and she was encouraging me to give a re-thinking to Breakout. I mean, sure, I'd love to go, but I'm not sure I can justify being that irresponsible, can I? I mean...surely I've had my fill of late. ;)

Anyway. Nothing really worth blogging about today, and I'm too sleepy to make a go of it anyway. Date Night tomorrow may actually be replaced with Family Game Night, since Gb will be around, but we'll see. May or may not get a post in tomorrow.

It occurs to me that I might benefit from a schedule. Or at least a checklist. I dunno...something to remind me that I shouldn't blow quite so many hours on social media. Friday is really not the day to implement that kind of thing, though, so...eh. We'll see.


Wed, Feb. 22nd, 2017 22:56
flatvurm: (fringehead bedhole)
Today was a big zero. I suuuuper fucked up my sleep last night, so I was useless today. Even bailed on a gaming get-together, so you know it's serious. ;) Might have a touch of the con crud, too. Not certain; probably will know more tomorrow. Whatever the case, bottom line is that I got nothing of consequence done today, and even very little done of little consequence. Felt like more than the usual amount of social media, though, so...funny how that works, huh?

Anyway. Not sure if I'm headed to bed soon or not. Either way, I feel like I should buckle down tomorrow.


Tue, Feb. 21st, 2017 23:22
flatvurm: (worry)
I'm going to maybe need a "domestic life" userpic or something. :) Not a lot to report today, but for once that's because I was kinda productive instead of not being at all productive. I did chauffeur duty today because Gb had weird school hours, so it was all very homemaker for me this morning. Dropped off Tb at work, have a nice day, honey, I love you. Dropped off Gb at school, see you at 3, make good choices. Ran errands, went shopping, picked up kid, picked up wife. I dunno, it was all very calming and happy. Didn't get a hell of a lot else done, but hey. I helped out, at least. :)

Anyway. Once that was all done, I basically went back in my cave and ate an entire chicken, so I got that going for me, too.

It's Misdirected Mark streaming night, but they had a bunch of technical difficulties, so the show didn't quite go as planned. They basically ended up doing Aftershow-only, really. :) I got a lot of shoutouts for hanging out with Phil and Senda at Dreamation, though, which was awesome. I got namedropped at the same time as Jason Pitre! I fainted. Senda hauled out one of the more dynamic table selfies of us from this weekend, so that's pretty awesome. Such good memories. Such good people. Makes me all squishy inside.

I should link to more stuff, huh. It's weird how separate LJ feels from the rest of social media, and I'm not sure why. Part of it is probably the newness of coming back, but part of it is probably also the oldness of the site and this blogging practice. Here's a pic of Phil, Senda, and me when we first met up at the con. I have to admit, they have done a pretty outstanding job of branding. :)

I think if it wasn't so late I'd work on capturing and embedding some of these pics, but for the moment...eh. I can't be bothered. :)

Oh, one of the notable things I did not get to today because of my domestic chores was doing the con writeups. Was hoping to get to it tomorrow, instead, but there might be a little last-minute game-playing going on in Brooklyn, so, we'll see what happens. This is how it starts, though...miss a day here, a day there, and the shit never gets done. I should have done it on Monday when I had a solid opportunity, but I was so damn dedicated to doing nothing on the day after a con that I just refused to start the work. That'll learn me. :) Or not. ;)

Anyway, might be out and about again tomorrow, so I'll close 'er down. Weirdly fulfilling day today. I could get used to housewifing. :)


Mon, Feb. 20th, 2017 22:19
flatvurm: (d12)
Here I am, back from Dreamation. This was the least prepared I've ever been for a con, I think, and definitely not something I would have attempted if it were any further away or any less friendly and awesome than I know Double Exposure events to be. In all the lead-up to the con, I was never sure if I would even be able to make it out there (or when), so I didn't get a room, and (almost) didn't schedule anything in advance. The exception there was that I did secure a seat in Phil's Hydro Hacker Operatives playtest, because, geez, why wouldn't I. I mean, let's not mess around, Senda and Phil coming to the con was one of the big reasons I really wanted to make it out there. I didn't go at all on Friday, but I went up both Saturday and Sunday and came back home in between. This served as a decent experiment on how it would go if I wanted to try to attend future Double Exposure cons without getting a room. I'm so-so on it. If I ever get back to the point where I can comfortably lose a little sleep and still con hard, then maybe I'll consider that as a thing to do in the future. An alternative, also, is that if I start rooming with people then it might bring the cost down to about on par. But anyway. that's just logistics. Details.

My intention is to do Dodecahedroid writeups of the con proper, so I'll save myself all that for now. In this here blog, I want to talk more about the internal and social stuff and also aftermath and con drop. Today was my traditional post-con recovery day. I mean, I ran a few errands, but on the whole I took it pretty easy and just let things settle a bit. I was a lot more "social" at this con, by which I mean I didn't necessarily spend more time with people, but the time was weighted more non-game than usual. Met up with Phil and Senda, of course. Caught up with Meg at the end, which was awesome. Not only did I get to meet up with Laura and Dev, but luckily I got to sit in on a game of Companions' Tale, so that was awesome! I met a few people for the first time: Brennan Taylor, which was funny because I met him totally randomly because he wanted a panda hat and I happened to be the one he asked about it and I was standing next to Senda, who was handing them out. :) Er...that's not why it was funny. It was funny because I was able to tell him that I was just recently in his neck of the woods at Arcana and I had just picked up a game of his (Mortal Coil). Also I got some face time with Joshua A. C. Newman, which was pretty great because I got to name-drop Stephan on him. ;) I picked up some copies of The Bloody-handed Name of Bronze, which I was happy about because I missed it at Metatopia. Oh, also Hannah Shaffer and Evan Rowland! That was pretty great, too. Hannah is every bit as happy and enthusiastic as she is on podcasts, and it was pretty sweet to finally meet face-to-face. And Evan's art is, of course, amazing. I haven't yet cracked my copy of Noirlandia yet from the Kickstarter, but Phil and Senda got to play this weekend and they said it was awesome, so woo!

Erm...I'm sure there was more. But I kinda got sidetracked; I was going to talk about social stuff. So, yeah, I actually ran into Phil, Senda, and Meg all at the same time, and it was a bit before the H2O slot was scheduled, so I hung out with them and "helped" them set up (read: stood around while Phil did stuff). Oh! Reminds me...Ro from Gamers Plane...that was another one I met for the first time. I'm reminded because he also came by and hung out before the H2O slot. That game was fun. Jason Pitre was also in the slot, which was cool. Oh, also! The couple that I first met, like...two Metatopias ago, I think, at one of Shane Harsch's playtests. Wild. Also someone else that I didn't know, so it was a pretty full table. Fun game, good playtest. Jason's a pretty smart dude, and it's clear he loves to talk design. Phil, Senda, Jason, and I went out for empanadas afterward, and then I left them to their respective night games, and I headed back home. That was Saturday.

Sunday I resolved to make it in time for the morning slot and pick up what I could find with space. I had signed up as an alternate for Companion's Tale, but all the original sign-ups showed, so I went looking for something else. I could have sat in on a 5E game, it turned out, but what ended up happening was that three more alternates showed up for CT, so that was enough to play a second game! Dev ran the "overflow" game. That was also very fun! No familiar faces, but I met a couple people that are kind of friends of friends but that I didn't know previously. There weren't a whole lot of Sunday afternoon slots, but the convention was still technically going. What ended up happening is that Phil and Senda recruited Meg and me and we did a playtest/playstorming for Senda's magical girls Lasers and Feelings hack that she's working on. What great fun that was! Phil and I chuckled over being old and how as young proto-grognards, we never could have anticipated growing up and playing magical girls. ;) We parted ways after the game, and I gave Meg a lift back to Brooklyn. Which was also nice because I got to say hi to Dan. :) Meg and I had a pretty nice chat on the way home. Nothing in particular; just chat. But it was like...people chat, not congoer chat, so it was also social time.

That was by way of setup, I think. So from last night after I got home and earlier today, I started having this weird, like...after-the-fact social anxiety. I was suddenly worried that I had botched some things over the weekend. There were basically two concerns.

One, I thought that I had been "weird fanboy" to Phil and Senda. This stemmed from the realization afterward that I consider them pretty good friends because we've interacted so much over the...wow, years...but I spend way more time hearing them and seeing them than they do me. It's that weird podcast intimacy thing. I was a lot more guarded about that kind of thing with James and Kat, but by our second con together, I had stopped worrying about it completely. Kat, especially, put me at ease about that pretty effectively. Anyway, the point was that I had felt I might have been tagging along annoyingly.

Two, I thought that I might have been "scary guy" to Meg. This was mostly about the ride home. She was originally going to take the train back, and I just offered the ride because...that's what I do. I just assumed it to be a better choice, which is why I offered. I worried afterward that maybe I had rushed her into it. I don't know, maybe she wanted to take the train, you know? Like for decompression time after the con. She had been there twice as long as I had, run a bunch of LARPs, did like three or four interviews...I mean shit, if I had had that kind of schedule I would be looking forward to some alone time. Also, though, and this is the dumb part, halfway back, I suddenly doubted that I was taking the correct route home, so I had to pull off the highway to muck with the GPS (it's a "safety" feature that I can't muck with it while the car's moving). It wasn't until the next day that I realized I might have just fast-talked Meg into getting into the car and then halfway through, unexpectedly exited the highway in favor of a deserted New Jersey industrial park. Jesus! And, like, it's not like we're strangers or anything, but still. That could have easily been uncomfortable for her, and I didn't even give it a thought at the time.

Okay, so...thing one. I've since talked to all parties involved, and everything's fine. I was aware on some level that I was being a little over-anxious about this stuff, but it never hurts to get that reassurance that I do not, in fact, appear to people like the monster I sometimes think I appear as. ;)

Thing two, I really want this lesson to sink in, but I've been thinking a lot about the thing with Meg and the industrial park. Even if I didn't actually make her feel threatened, because she knows me well enough, I could have, and it's not the situation itself that was bad, per se, it's that I didn't even think about it. That's just thoughtless, and that's not what I want to be about. So that's a lesson I want to take away from this for sure.

Thing three, what's with all the second-guessing? As I was experiencing these feelings, like I said before, I was aware on some level that I was being a little over-anxious about this. That said, though, it was well enough within that grey area that I wasn't sure enough that I was overreacting, and I needed to reach out to the people involved to see. That's not like me, I don't think, but that's where I was at this morning. I expressed, in a semi-joking way, some of these feelings (in a general sense) on Twitter, and I was surprised to learn a couple things. One, that it was more common for people to feel this way than I thought. (Somebody even had a term for it: "social interaction hangover.") Two, I learned that this is also something that people associate with con drop.

Now, to me, con drop had always been about depression. The after-con "blues," if you will. I had never really thought about it in terms of anxiety, particularly social anxiety, which I would never have thought of as an aftermath thing, just a beforehand thing. So that's just an interesting new context for me to put this in. And it's something I should maybe be aware of to look out for in future con drop situations. Not just sadness, but some kind of...doubts, I guess? Hmm...now that I'm laying it all out, an argument could definitely made for this to be more like a self-esteem or self-doubt problem, which could just as easily be a depression thing as an anxiety thing. Either way, though, the knowledge that other people feel this way and also associate it with con drop means that I have a nice, normalizing context for this in the future. Just another log to add to that fire, I think. Which, in closing, is why I came back to journaling in the first place, isn't it. :)

If I do further con writeups, I'll probably link to them from here. But knowing myself, if I don't get to them tomorrow, they're probably not going to happen at all, so...we'll see what we can do about that. In the meantime, I'm on chauffeur duty tomorrow, so I should hit the sack soon. Until next time.

[EDIT: I totally meant to mention this and forgot, but I am also pretty relaxed about all this because I have therapy tomorrow, too, so...there's that.]


Thu, Feb. 16th, 2017 21:01
flatvurm: (taenia)
Schedule's a bit flipped this week so date night is tonight instead of tomorrow, so I don't have much blogging time. Turns out to be fine, though, because I don't really have much to report from today, except that date night got moved. ;) I did manage to go out again today, which is good, but I didn't do much else, despite having planned to have done so. Today is detox day 1, though, so I'm cutting myself slack. Got a few things I have to get done tomorrow (like laundry!) but otherwise I'm looking forward to a mostly con-filled weekend, so woo! Anyway, more later, but probably much later. This will likely be my last post until after the weekend, but I don't want to go into a whole long absence again like last time!
flatvurm: (fringehead bedhole)

One of the financial habits I've found most difficult to change is my propensity to back RPG Kickstarters. I mention this because some beauts have come out recently (The Watch) or are coming soon (Noir World). Just today, Laura Simpson's Companions' Tale launched, and I was so excited about it that I happened to be the first backer. :) Anyway, believe it or not, I actually have begun to exercise a little extra discretion since leaving my job, but only a little. All in all, though, I have to say, it's something I feel all right about spending money on.

I wasn't amazingly productive today, but I wasn't totally useless, either. I even got out of the house to do some grocery shopping. Most of the rest of the day was online stuff. I capped things off in that department watching a stream of Greenlight from One Shot's new studio, The Pocket Dimension. Fun times.

I also did a bit of cooking today, so pre-bed I had a lot of dishes to wash. I forgot to mention that when Tb and I went away last weekend, we ended up watching a fair amount of Chopped. I'm glad my cooking life is not that dramatic.

Anyway, just a bare recap for today, because I shut down the computer too early and I'm blogging on my phone. ;) Oh! Tb also brought me some ice cream this evening, which was very thoughtful and also delicious. And welcome, because for dinner I had mostly had zucchini. ;) Anyway, yeah. Fairly plain day, I'd say. Big day for Laura and Dev, though! Maybe I'll expand on the Kickstarter and stuff in a later post. For now, good night.

flatvurm: (ryker kid)
Pretty nice day today, all told. I had therapy in the morning, which went well. My therapist says I seem so much better since I left the job, which I have to say is pretty validating. I didn't do a whole hell of a lot else with my day, really, at least on the "to-do list" side of things. I did a lot of online catchup, checking in, keeping up with the exciting world of RPG Kickstarters and so forth. The usual jazz on that front. This evening, Tabitha and I had some quality time. We basically already did our Valentine's Day thing this past weekend, but I thought it would be nice to at least have dinner and hang out tonight, just for the ritual of it. I found out this afternoon that a place near us had heart-shaped pizzas for the occasion, so we got one of those, and we had some ice cream. Gabriel came down from upstairs and we all hung out for a bit and had some laughs. All in all, it was very homey. Very pleasant. I think our life together is a good one, and I feel very fortunate about it. Good times.

Pic of the cute couple )
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