Interview Meme - Part 3

[flatvurm]

Once again...the rules (don't worry, y'all...I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to sign up):

001. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
002. I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal.
003. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
004. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
005. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

First half of kthrin's second volley (question 4):

4. What are two situations in which the 3 Laws of Rob-otics, as given in response to question 1, could go horribly awry, greatly inconveniencing Will Smith?

To review, the laws were:

1. No citizen shall hinder another's health or happiness without consent.
2. Each citizen shall have autonomy over its health and happiness.
3. Each citizen has ultimate responsibility for its actions and inactions.

Situation 1: A non-citizen, a tourist, perhaps, is visiting Robtopia and is beaten to death. The murderer has, in fact, not broken any Robtopian laws, having comitted said murder in such a way as to not upset any real Robtopians, and so the tourist's country's request for extradition is denied. Incensed, our foreign global neighbors decide to wage war on my peaceful nation. We are, unfortunately, unable to raise an effective army, as no citizens are willing to forego their health and happiness autonomy in the interests of national security. The burden then rests on wise-cracking, yet plucky, army of one Will Smith to stem the tide of invading forces in the name of the Roptopian principle of doing whatever the hell you want.

Situation 2: It is rather too easy for citizens to reach an impasse among themselves. Citizen Alice asks Citizen Bob to please stop sunbathing naked on his front lawn, as it is an impediment to her happiness. Citizen Bob politely refuses, as curtailing his sunbathing activities would certainly hinder his own happiness. Both citizens call upon the authorities to resolve the dispute, at which point Will Smith descends to the scene on his hoverbike in his Judge Dredd outfit. He must then mediate the dispute, hopefully by at least once employing the tactic of "I oughtta slap you upside yo' damn head!"

(As a special aside, did you know that Will Smith was named as one of Time's Top 100 people in 2006? 'Strue.)

[The rest of this volley is here and here.]

Anyway, various degrees of kudos to Kthrin for having me try to make an ideal ruleset and then having me break it. :) I gotta say, though...question 5 brought me immense joy. Anyway...onward!

Here's aplacental's volley:

1) If your life was made into a sitcom, what would it be called and who will star as you?

These days, I think the show would be called When the Chips are Down, and it would tell the story of a would-be professional poker player who's always scrapping for his next buy-in however he can find the opportunity. Wacky hijinks ensue. This may not be accurately representative of my life, but it would probably make better TV than my real life. ;) I think the star should be Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. He's fat, balding, and even plays poker. :) Plus Costanza lived with his parents, so... :)

2) If you can choose to go headsup against one of the well known poker players, who would you want to play and why?

Space Nerd Wil Wheaton! I think it might be the most fun I could have heads-up. He seems like he'd be a fun player, and while I'd probably be outclassed, I may not be hopelessly outclassed. Hey, you didn't say they had to be well known for playing poker. :) If I had to pick someone more famous for poker itself...I think I'd go with Joe Hachem, the last WSOP Main Event winner. I'd basically just be waiting for him to shout, "Pass the sugah!" :)

3) Where do you see yourself at age 50?

The dream or the reality? :) Let's go with the dream. I've long since hit my stride as both a cash game and tournament player, playing poker now as both a diversion and a supplemental source of income. Primarily I live off of my royalties from book deals, my sitcom, and other miscellaneous projects I've worked on, but these days I largely just kick back and relax, just like I've always wanted.

4) What is the recipe to make a Rob?

I'm not sure, but it comes almost ready-made in a box and is easy to prepare, no fuss, no messy cleanup. The ingredients list is complicated, yet vague, leaving the consumer with some uncertainty as to the contents. Featured are such gems as "hydroxypropyl methylcellulose" and "natural and artifical flavoring." Don't ask too many questions...just prepare and serve. Enjoy!

5) You're a very private person. If someone offered you $1 million to write a tell-all memoir about your life, would you write it? Note that you cannot lie about anything and must, indeed, tell all. If you would write it, include a two line excerpt from your book.

In a New York minute! I think there's very little I wouldn't do for a million bucks, plus...hell, I already blog for free. :) Excerpt (except I don't know about this two-line thing...you know how I roll with wordiness):

As I straddled its back, the sheep just milled around, as sheep do, and I briefly wondered if I could perhaps ride it out of the pen someday. Things started to go wrong when my would-be steed broke into the short, woolly version of a gallop. I gripped two handfuls of wool on its back to avoid falling off, but the looseness of his skin had me sliding off to one side as the spirited run started to goad the rest of the flock into a minor, fluffy stampede. With that amount of mayhem going on, I didn't notice the rapidly approaching tree.

And I think that's it for this round. Now I've got to get some more questions out there for other people. Smell ya later!