Old friends and new

So I was sitting around late last night with nothing much going on, when I happened across this xkcd comic, which told me that it's the ten-year anniversary of the release of The Matrix. And to quote a character in that strip: "Holy fuck, ten years ago?" So, yeah, hardly feels like it, but it's true. Ten years since The Matrix came out. Inspired by xkcd, I decided to sit down and watch it again, since I happened to have it on DVD.

It was what it was. I won't rehash it much, since I'm sure you guys are quite familiar enough with The Matrix. It was still pretty exciting and fun to watch. The more I stared at it, though, the more and more patently ridiculous it became. Like...the premise of the film, taken on its face, just doesn't make any damn sense. I got distracted for a while there trying to work out what would make sense; like how could I make this movie and still have it tell a worthwhile story? I didn't really come up with anything; any new direction I tried to go generally ended up somehow involving aliens, so...I guess that tells you something right there. But anyway...so, yeah, The Matrix. Great special effects, decent action, terrible story. So it goes. :)

But that's not really what I'm here to talk about today. Today I'm here to talk about the next stop on my tour of video game movies, this time taking a gander at DOA: Dead or Alive. Now...I have to be honest here, when I was queueing up the movie, I kinda forgot that Dead or Alive was a fighting game. I thought it was a beach volleyball game. This misapprehension was furthered, sadly, by the one preview image I saw of the film, which was a woman in a "Stars and Stripes" bikini. As time passed, though, and as I was making my way through other movies, I remembered...wait, wasn't that a fighting game?

Indeed it was. I think I may have even played it, too, back at Jay-Jay's place in El Barrio. It was a'aight, as I recall. It was a 3-D fighter, along the lines of Tekken or Virtua Fighter, as I recall. I think it's big contribution to the already saturated world of fighting games was big, jiggly breasts. And, as I recall, I think that was the reason that it did, actually, later become a beach volleyball game, which is why I thought that to begin with. Pity, too...I think it would have been pretty challenging to make an exciting movie based on a video game about beach volleyball. I'd watch that. :)

But anyway...fighting game. I'm pleased to report that this movie did what all movies based on fighting games should do: it was about fighting. Specifically, it was about a fighting tournament, which is what most of those games are about, too, including Dead or Alive. A fighting tournament! Where people gather together! And fight! (There, you see, Street Fighter? Was that so hard? Fucking Street Fighter.)

Okay, so...what can I really say about this movie. It was, in a word, awesome. ( Here's why )

And so, I give DOA: Dead or Alive two solid thumbs-up. None of the reasons for all this enthusiasm include anything that could really be considered "good movie" characteristics. The plot was horribly contrived, the acting ranged from mediocre to fairly poor at times. (The big exception I'd say goes to Collin Chou, who played Hayate, who I thought did a great job. In that same breath, though, I'd point out that he doesn't do that much except kill people with acupuncture needles, so...take that for what it's worth. Also, though, just so I'm clear, I will never fault Eric Roberts for anything.) Anyway. All that said, this movie was all the great parts of a fighting game, without me actually having to sit there and play a fighting game. Plus it was better, because the fights looked awesome and were brought to you in full-on Hong-Kong-style splendor. And there were some yuks. Plus, the movie's pretty short. What's not to like? Watch it today. :)

So that's it. I'd say DOA is so far the hidden gem of this whole Video Game Movie Project. I can't see anything getting better than this. :) Next up: either the House of the Dead series, or Max Payne; I haven't decided yet. Any opinions there? :)

P.S. Bonus Video Game Movie Casting Crossover Moment. So remember Ayane, the purple-haired Caucasian ninja warrior girl? I looked her up, actually, just to see if she actually was Caucasian. Turns out...yes and no; she's actually half-Filipina! Nice, now I can add her to the list of ethnically awesome. Like Rob Schneider. Anyway, though...that's a nice little factoid, but it's not the Casting Crossover Moment. The casting crossover is: when I saw the actress' name, Natassia Malthe, I couldn't help but feel that that name looked familiar. I had looked her up on Wikipedia instead of IMDB, but I stared at her filmography and nothing jumped out at me. Then I stared again. Still nothing. Then I stared again. HOLY SHIT! She was Rayne in the second BloodRayne movie, the one in the old west! Jesus. :) So if you want to see Natassia Malthe in a movie, take your pick: old West, poker-playing, gunslinging half-vampire? Or purple-haired Caucasian ninja warrior? The choices are endless!