If I wrote headlines...

...it would go something more like "Man Assaults Cyclists with Car; Gets Ten Years in Jail for Being a Dick."

My favorite quote, emphasis mine: "According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, traffic crashes killed 716 cyclists last year and injured 52,000 people riding bikes, trikes and unicycles."

I have rarely seen a person out and about on a unicycle. I have never seen a unicycle involved in a traffic crash. But I kinda want to.

Go green (part two)

(For metalepticfit).

I'll see your discount and raise you a freebie.

Prostitutes offer free sex to global-warming delegates in Copenhagen.

Last of the news posts for now

The mayor of Arlington, Tenn., told his Facebook friends this week that "our muslim president" scheduled Tuesday night's address to the nation about Afghanistan to knock The Charlie Brown Christmas Special off network TV, The Commercial Appeal reports.

(NPR blog post here.)

I couldn't help but think...wouldn't it be awesome if that's actually how things worked? :) Or perhaps terrifying, if taken the other way. Like someone was all, "Hey, wait, we have to reschedule this broadcast so as to not interfere with The Charlie Brown Christmas Special." "Hey, thanks, Media Czar, you're totally right!"

Anyway...it doesn't necessarily imply that Obama is Muslim. Maybe he just hates Charlie Brown.

* * *

"A man dressed as an elf is jailed after police in Georgia say he told a mall Santa that he was carrying dynamite."

It's a common enough tale. Man dresses up like an elf, goes to mall to see Santa, threatens Santa with bomb scare. Frankly, I'm all about this story because of the accompanying photo. I mean...just look at this guy.



That is one crazy elf.