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Unintended side-effects
Dec. 9th, 2018 11:16 pmToday did not go as I had intended, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Originally, my plan was to get a jump on that pod editing project trial episode I've got to get done next week, but I ended up spending the day working on blog posts. I can't even remember now how it got started. It's been kind of the back burner of my mind that I should at some point get around to writing up my Metatopia recap (a convention which was, like, over a month ago), and somehow it just pushed itself forward as the thing to do today. I tried experimenting with a new format, which is a single blog post for each session. I posted the first today here. I wrote the whole series up today, as a matter of fact, but I've scheduled one to drop each day until they're all done. Not sure how I feel about the format, but it at least looks like I'm dropping content every day, so hey. ;)
I also told myself when I picked up personal blogging again: on days where I do other (more professional? ish?) blogging that I'd give myself a break on the personal blog, but this seemed noteworthy enough to spend a few minutes on dashing out an entry here, too.
Honestly, that pretty much took up my whole day. Helped T out with some chores here and there, but otherwise I mostly just went through my Metatopia notes and resized photos. Still freakin' bummed that I forget to take a picture at that Fractured Identities session but OH WELL. Nobody's perfect. :)
It felt good to put posts together. I've been kicking around in the back of my mind whether it might be worth throwing in on a blog professionally. I figure I'm not really pursuing the idea until I can keep my own (unprofessional) blog going, but today's experience made me wonder if there might be something there. Eh. Still...it's for another day. This is what happens; I get caught up thinking about this flighty stuff when there's actual work for me to be doing.
Still...I don't regret it. A break from the audio editing, but still was productive, and it was something I enjoyed doing. A guy could do worse, yeah?
Anyway. Some mild to medium nausea today in the afternoon. A two-Tummer. (Yeah...that's not gonna stick, I hope.) Cleared up by dinnertime, though, so I guess that's fine. I just hate how distracting it is, and also how bad it is for my mood. Nausea's the worst. Hope that stops happening soon.
Little tangent here. When shit like this is going on, it's hard not to think about my failing body and morality and stuff. Not that my body's failing...it just feels that way sometimes when the anxiety breaks its leash. And I just read a news story about a programmer found dead in his office. 22 fucking years old. 22! And a CMU grad. I dunno. I don't want this to turn into the thing like on West Wing when Josh has to investigate a dead fighter pilot who it turns out had the same birthday as him, but it's hard not to think about the path not taken sometimes, I guess. I'm pretty sure in my dying moments, I'm not going to be saying, "I should have stayed a programmer." And now that I've said that, I guess I fear being sucked into that world. I remember a while back I read some old blog posts of mine where I was basically like, "Technology is so gross; I'm glad I'm out," then I was back in...however many years later. It's not that technology is gross, necessarily. But the culture of it is gross. And I don't (particularly) mean tech company culture, though I guess we know what techbros are about these days. But I mean more...its place in culture -- the power it wields.
Blah, I don't really know where I'm going with that. But these are things I think about now. Human cost. Invisible cost. Just...cost. We're fucked. That's all I can really think right now. I'll try and get back to that another time with a clearer head.
RIP Scott Krulcik, anyway. I hope you had a good life; I really do. I don't know why, really, that I wish that. I mean, beyond just wishing that for everybody. But I feel like...somehow...maybe he didn't? And maybe there's some other world where I coulda been him. I dunno. These are not good thoughts. I gotta get to bed soon.
I also told myself when I picked up personal blogging again: on days where I do other (more professional? ish?) blogging that I'd give myself a break on the personal blog, but this seemed noteworthy enough to spend a few minutes on dashing out an entry here, too.
Honestly, that pretty much took up my whole day. Helped T out with some chores here and there, but otherwise I mostly just went through my Metatopia notes and resized photos. Still freakin' bummed that I forget to take a picture at that Fractured Identities session but OH WELL. Nobody's perfect. :)
It felt good to put posts together. I've been kicking around in the back of my mind whether it might be worth throwing in on a blog professionally. I figure I'm not really pursuing the idea until I can keep my own (unprofessional) blog going, but today's experience made me wonder if there might be something there. Eh. Still...it's for another day. This is what happens; I get caught up thinking about this flighty stuff when there's actual work for me to be doing.
Still...I don't regret it. A break from the audio editing, but still was productive, and it was something I enjoyed doing. A guy could do worse, yeah?
Anyway. Some mild to medium nausea today in the afternoon. A two-Tummer. (Yeah...that's not gonna stick, I hope.) Cleared up by dinnertime, though, so I guess that's fine. I just hate how distracting it is, and also how bad it is for my mood. Nausea's the worst. Hope that stops happening soon.
Little tangent here. When shit like this is going on, it's hard not to think about my failing body and morality and stuff. Not that my body's failing...it just feels that way sometimes when the anxiety breaks its leash. And I just read a news story about a programmer found dead in his office. 22 fucking years old. 22! And a CMU grad. I dunno. I don't want this to turn into the thing like on West Wing when Josh has to investigate a dead fighter pilot who it turns out had the same birthday as him, but it's hard not to think about the path not taken sometimes, I guess. I'm pretty sure in my dying moments, I'm not going to be saying, "I should have stayed a programmer." And now that I've said that, I guess I fear being sucked into that world. I remember a while back I read some old blog posts of mine where I was basically like, "Technology is so gross; I'm glad I'm out," then I was back in...however many years later. It's not that technology is gross, necessarily. But the culture of it is gross. And I don't (particularly) mean tech company culture, though I guess we know what techbros are about these days. But I mean more...its place in culture -- the power it wields.
Blah, I don't really know where I'm going with that. But these are things I think about now. Human cost. Invisible cost. Just...cost. We're fucked. That's all I can really think right now. I'll try and get back to that another time with a clearer head.
RIP Scott Krulcik, anyway. I hope you had a good life; I really do. I don't know why, really, that I wish that. I mean, beyond just wishing that for everybody. But I feel like...somehow...maybe he didn't? And maybe there's some other world where I coulda been him. I dunno. These are not good thoughts. I gotta get to bed soon.