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flatvurmToday is...Thursday. Day 4. I kinda lost half of yesterday. I mean...clearly I didn't do a blog post. What I did do yesterday was wake up hella early for reasons I do not understand. I did some chores and stuff...then for whatever reason I decided that that was the day to finally cut my hair and shave, so I did that. I'll be honest...I felt kinda better after that! The last few days, besides trying to navigate the overall stress and malaise that is the COVID-19 world, I also haven't been feeling physically tip-top, and that brings with it all kinds of extra anxiety and stress, so I think I may be getting caught in a kind of death spiral sort of thing. Regardless, though, I've been doing a lot of...I dunno...giving up on the day? Lately? But...the point of this when I started this meandering line of thinking was that I've also been feeling like there's something maybe wrong going on in my lungs or something. And, like...intellectually, I know things are fine. Well, "fine." But I'm not in immediate danger or anything. Nonetheless, the anxiety parts of my brain get fired up with good ol'-fashioned freakouts if, like, I detect any little abnormality with my health or...sense of body...working? ANYway. I only bring all this up to mention that I took the long shower opportunity to relax and breathe in a lot of steam, and that helped my lungs feel better, and that just helped everything feel better. So that was nice. Other than that big project for the morning, I sat down and did some MM editing. Those two things were pretty much it for me yesterday.
By the afternoon, I kinda felt like packing it in. I don't guess I felt completely that way at first, but I did feel like a significant break was in order, at least maybe a quick nap or something, in recognition that I woke up way too early. But, yeah...I forget exactly how it went. For sure T went out to the Outside for some kind of excursion, and I put in a movie basically with the idea in mind of falling asleep. So...basically I just whiled away the afternoon. I may have dozed a bit. But mostly I was just...feeling kind of uncomfortable in my chest and then...trying to continue existing and not freak the fuck out about feeling uncomfortable in my chest. I dunno. It was not a great way to pass the day, but it was what it was.
Today has been...better? So far? For one, I woke up and did not feel uncomfortable in my chest, so that's always a good sign. I sat down, started getting some work done, and even got some laundry going. So it's only about lunchtime now, but I feel like I've gotten a fair amount accomplished today, even if none of it was pod editing, which I really need to get moving on. But, yeah...just trynna...keep things going.
I did start to feel a little overwhelmed earlier today. I've been thinking that maybe instead of just collapsing and calling it a day, maybe I should start looking into something like, I dunno, taking a little break?! That seems like it might be a more reasonable approach. I'll look into it. In the meantime... Yeah, I don't even know. I guess I'm just gonna see how this afternoon goes. Ideally, I'd spend the rest of the day pod mining and looking for work. (Oh, that's another thing I've been better at the last couple days...looking for more work. Gotta keep on that, too.) Practically? I'm not sure. I'm about to break for lunch. Historically, at least lately, that's often spelled the end of my day, but also I'm feeling a bit better today than I have in a little while, so...maybe there's something there. Maybe not.
I was confronted with a thought today that I think I have to mull over a little more, but...I got to thinking maybe the current crisis is giving me an alibi to fail. That's...sobering in some way.
Onward.
By the afternoon, I kinda felt like packing it in. I don't guess I felt completely that way at first, but I did feel like a significant break was in order, at least maybe a quick nap or something, in recognition that I woke up way too early. But, yeah...I forget exactly how it went. For sure T went out to the Outside for some kind of excursion, and I put in a movie basically with the idea in mind of falling asleep. So...basically I just whiled away the afternoon. I may have dozed a bit. But mostly I was just...feeling kind of uncomfortable in my chest and then...trying to continue existing and not freak the fuck out about feeling uncomfortable in my chest. I dunno. It was not a great way to pass the day, but it was what it was.
Today has been...better? So far? For one, I woke up and did not feel uncomfortable in my chest, so that's always a good sign. I sat down, started getting some work done, and even got some laundry going. So it's only about lunchtime now, but I feel like I've gotten a fair amount accomplished today, even if none of it was pod editing, which I really need to get moving on. But, yeah...just trynna...keep things going.
I did start to feel a little overwhelmed earlier today. I've been thinking that maybe instead of just collapsing and calling it a day, maybe I should start looking into something like, I dunno, taking a little break?! That seems like it might be a more reasonable approach. I'll look into it. In the meantime... Yeah, I don't even know. I guess I'm just gonna see how this afternoon goes. Ideally, I'd spend the rest of the day pod mining and looking for work. (Oh, that's another thing I've been better at the last couple days...looking for more work. Gotta keep on that, too.) Practically? I'm not sure. I'm about to break for lunch. Historically, at least lately, that's often spelled the end of my day, but also I'm feeling a bit better today than I have in a little while, so...maybe there's something there. Maybe not.
I was confronted with a thought today that I think I have to mull over a little more, but...I got to thinking maybe the current crisis is giving me an alibi to fail. That's...sobering in some way.
Onward.