Bullpen

You ever notice how, after I spend some time away from LJ and need to catch up, I usually warm up first by doing a meme or quiz or something? Well, it's that time again.

The short update: Gone from New York, back in South Jersey. Details to follow.

The warmup:

Well, I took that What Age Do You Act? quiz via aplacental. I got 28.

Well...that was exciting. :)

So, to pad things a bit, here's a meme I ganked from delirium6969, or possibly whatever impersonator is using her identity.

A - Age you got your first kiss: Man, pretty old...probably like 18?
B - Band listening to right now: Not now, but hopefully soon...System of a Down and Gorillaz.
C - Crush: I'm not a player; I just crush a lot.
D - Dad's name: Edgardo.
E - Easiest person[s] to talk to: Hmm. I think Francois (lepicurien).
F - Favourite bands at the moment: Music's been missing lately. I'll give it to MC Frontalot.
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: I think worms...I can dangle them from my mouth.
H - Hometown: Biologically: Juneau, AK. Adopted: NYC. Close second: San Francisco, CA.
I - Instruments: Sometimes I make fart noises with my mouth. Sometimes armpit.
K - Kids: You better be talking baby goats.
L - Longest car ride ever: Five days across the country.
M - Mom's name: Melinda.
N - Nicknames: Worm!
O - One wish: Fuckin'...millions of dollars, baby!
P - Phobia[s]: Beeeeeeeeeeees! And the like.
Q - Quote: Heh...just recently spotted: "There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do." - Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
R - Reason to smile: When that guy that just folded to me asks, "Could you beat [insert some hand I couldn't beat]?"
S - Song you sang last: One line or so: some song from Jesus Christ Superstar. Full song...I can't remember for sure, but it was probably by Bad Religion. My guess is "Struck a Nerve."
T - Time you woke up [today]: 7:30, 8:30, 9:30, 10:30.
U - Unknown fact[s] about me: I play with myself and think about you.
V - Vegetable(s) you dislike: Eggplant.
W - Worst habit(s): Is it weird that I can't think of any? I'll glady solicit contributions from others. [EDIT: panyang usefully pointed out: "Smoking. Duh." Of course!]
X - X-rays you've had: Mostly just dental. I think I had an x-ray when I messed up my ankle in Cali, though.
Y - Yummy food: So many. Off the top of my head: saba nigiri!
Z - Zodiac sign: Leo. Aren't we all. ;)

So, yeah...I'm doing catchup. Seeya around, peoplez.

Libelous swine!

So I think there's this largely unexplored area of legal humor. Not like, "How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?" kind of legal humor, but the fact that reading legal opinions about the most inane topics tends to kind of bring me a chuckle or two.

I'm going to take this opportunity to re-plug this Legal Guide for Bloggers from the EFF that aylack talked about, just cuz I think it's interesting and shit. I'd also like to excerpt a few things, because I fixate and that's how my mind works. I will say, firstly, that I had the most fun in their section about defamation. Largely I was attraced to the excerpt below, which is apparently regarding a case concerning "the alleged defamatory statement that plaintiffs were the top-ranking 'Dumb Asses' on defendant's list of 'Top Ten Dumb Asses.'" Upon reading that, I already knew I was going to like it. (This is in the bit about "verifiable facts," by the way.)

A statement that the plaintiff is a "Dumb Ass," even first among "Dumb Asses," communicates no factual proposition susceptible of proof or refutation. It is true that "dumb" by itself can convey the relatively concrete meaning "lacking in intelligence." Even so, depending on context, it may convey a lack less of objectively assayable mental function than of such imponderable and debatable virtues as judgment or wisdom. Here defendant did not use "dumb" in isolation, but as part of the idiomatic phrase, "dumb ass." When applied to a whole human being, the term "ass" is a general expression of contempt essentially devoid of factual content. Adding the word "dumb" merely converts "contemptible person" to "contemptible fool." Plaintiffs were justifiably insulted by this epithet, but they failed entirely to show how it could be found to convey a provable factual proposition. ... If the meaning conveyed cannot by its nature be proved false, it cannot support a libel claim.

So great. :) I especially like the part about what ass means specifically when referring to a whole human. :)

I also enjoyed their discussion of "libel per se," which I guess is automagically libel and doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room. Among other things, libel per se can apparently consist of "a statement that falsely: imputes in him the present existence of an infectious, contagious, or loathsome disease; [or] imputes to him impotence or a want of chastity." I love the statements considered so insulting that there is no defense against making them.

So just keep that in mind, my friends, the next time you have the urge to blog that "Rob is a limp-dicked whoremonger with the flu!"